Let me ask you a question: when was the last time you got on social media, whether it be Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Snapchat, etc.? Now let me ask you a slightly different question: When was the last time you truly felt happy and satisfied with yourself and the way your life is going?
Social Media and Personal Happiness
Dear Reader,
I am no psychologist (although I did enjoy my Psychology class in high school), but I have seen a correlation between social media and a general decrease in personal satisfaction. And it’s not just me, many recent studies have shown this correlation as well. In fact, as part of a new study, thisisinsider.com, claimed that, “Using less social media than you normally would leads to significant decreases in both depression and loneliness. These effects are particularly pronounced for folks who were more depressed when they came into the study.”
When you look at other people's lives, particularly on Instagram, it's easy to conclude that everyone else's life is cooler or better than yours.
It is a little ironic that reducing your social media intake actually makes you feel less lonely. In my opinion, social media started as a great thing - a great way to connect with loved ones, spread great ideas, market products, and of course see what old high school friends are doing. But I believe that in the past few years, even though it has been great for connecting people from different places and in a way making the world smaller, it has also created a rift among us. And it has spiked rates of depression and anxiety.
How many times have you heard the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy?” I think this phrase is simple but so true. I have experienced this in my own personal use of social media. And recently, I have been pondering this saying.
Some of My Conclusions
There is a celebrity culture that has smitten our society. This means that celebrities’ lives are portrayed in a certain way so that their fame transforms them into a product or brand. And although all this fame, fortune, and fake happiness makes celebrities miserable in the end, we don’t see that. And we fall for it.
This culture makes us believe that we have to create a name or “brand” for ourselves through social media so that we can be either well known or well liked at least. It makes us believe we need more followers or friends to be happy. It makes us believe we have to be leading a more exciting life than our acquaintance to not feel like failures. What most of us do not know, though, is that we are setting ourselves up for failure.
This destructive competition and increased push to get the most likes or have a seemingly perfect life affects especially women. Ladies especially would agree with me that we are harder on ourselves than we are on our peers or acquaintances. For every good thing we do, there are five things we wish we were better at. We need to stop beating ourselves up and comparing ourselves with others because IT IS NOT A COMPETITION. Not even close. Comparing yourself with your seemingly “perfect and popular” roommate in college is like comparing a seagull to a penguin. Both are birds, but one obviously was intended to fly above the water and the other swim in it. And neither flying nor swimming is better because both can catch the fish.
I think the same goes for men too, who are increasingly told to be “fitter,” “sexier,” or “more manly.” Frequently, and especially in the media, men are frequently viewed as “pieces of meat” as the saying goes.
But I digress. In a study years ago, researchers showed how personal body image is easily distorted. Men and women with anorexia were shown pictures of their bodies taken from the neck down so that they could not identify themselves. When asked if the people in the pictures looked healthy, those with anorexia said that they looked too skinny and unhealthy. Then the researchers then showed the men and women different pictures of themselves and asked what they thought of their body/appearance. Each person said that he or she needed to lose weight because they were “too chubby” or “not thin enough.” When the researchers later revealed that the first pictures had indeed been them as well, the participants were shocked, realizing how their eyes literally distorted their body image just because they knew it was them.
Now this story might not have to do with social media, but there is a direct connection. Social media creates a distorted reality. And I can guarantee you from experience that most of your feed is just plain fake. Social media, especially Instagram, in my opinion is designed to make it look like the rest of the world is Just think, what do you post on your social media? Do you post how you are struggling to pay your tuition or rent in college, how you are struggling with an eating disorder and body-image issues, how or having relationship troubles? Of course not. You only post the rose-colored stuff.
Social media life can become like a negative feedback loop — wanting others to be jealous of your life, while constantly comparing yourself to those on your feed.
I'm sure most of the pictures on your Instagram or Facebook are of exciting trips, fun parties, or family gatherings. The last picture you posted of yourself probably had a filter and was definitely not of the boring day you had at work or of your dog that peed on the carpet.
Two Challenges
Now, if you’ll let me, I have two simple challenges for you:
Go through your own Instagram, Facebook, or any other social media account and look at your profile and all the pictures you’ve taken. Now pretend you are a stranger and looking through your profile. Pretend you know nothing about yourself or your life.
Now, go through your profile. This challenge will be like looking at your body from a stranger’s view and realizing that you really don’t look as chubby or short or broad-shouldered as you thought. You are not as hopelessly . . . as you might think! When I did this, my eyes were really opened. I saw that my life probably did look awesome and rather rose-colored from another’s point of view--from someone that didn’t know the details or hidden struggles of my life. And I wondered how many of my friends were jealous because I was having so much “success” in life when they weren’t.
So here is my second challenge:
If I end up being right about this, the only person that will benefit from this will be you. And I guess I’ll have a clear conscience knowing I did my best to help my fellow Internet user. And if I’m wrong, I guess my pride will suffer a bit. But here is my second and final challenge.
Unplug yourself from all social media for a day, or two days, or a week. And see how you feel after. Have you ever thought about how many times a day you check Instagram or Facebook. How many times have you opened Facebook in an attempt to procrastinate doing your homework and ended up wasting over a half hour scrolling through endless feeds of memes, videos, and pictures? How many times has this happened to you on Instagram or Pinterest? Well, I will admit that this happens to me all the time. But we can break these bad habits.
I promise that if you do this social media fast, just for a week or few days - because as I said before, social media has its strengths and good sides - but I promise that you will feel more fulfilled and satisfied with your own life.
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